In His Arms
by igivemyselfthecreeps
Summary: Brienne is hiding from her father - Lord Renly Bartheon has come to Tarth, and Brienne really doesn't want to go to the feast. Naturally she is made to, and there, she meets Renly.
1. Hiding

Brienne lay still, listening for movement over the sound of the waves against the little row boat. She was only just small enough to fit lying down – it wouldn't be long until she wouldn't fit anymore. And it wasn't actually that small a boat.

"Lady Brienne! You must come at once, or you won't have time to get ready!"

Her handmaiden knew her hiding spots well by this point – she'd been hiding by Evenfall's main dock for at least 5 years. But Brienne was clever – there were at least a dozen small row boats along the main dock, and another half dozen larger boats. She chose a different hiding spot every time, but usually preferred the smaller boats.

 _Though I won't fit here for much longer_ , she thought miserably.

There was shuffling near her, and a pair of large hands seized her.

"Brienne enough of this. I cannot host a feast for my liege lord without my own daughter in attendance!". Brienne was freakishly tall, both for her sex and her age, but Lord Selwyn was a brute of a man who towered over her.

"But father...I...I cannot."

 _They'll know. They'll all know. And they'll laugh..._

Lord Selwyn's stern face softened slightly. He looked down at his daughter with an expression akin to affection. He opened his mouth to speak, but first dismissed the handmaiden, assuring her that Lady Brienne would be up to her room shortly.

"Brienne, you're not still upset are you? About Ser Ronnet?"

Brienne stared down at her boots, not daring to look at her father. She was still upset about Ser Ronnet, but that wasn't all. Ser Ronnet was just one among many who had belittled her for being ugly. Going to the feast meant hearing the sniggers as she walked past. It meant sitting up on the dais waiting to dance, but never being asked. Not that she particularly wanted to dance, but it would've been nice to have someone approach her for once. Her father never understood.

"Father...they'll know about the rose...they'll laugh at me..."

"Brienne, you are stronger than that. I have seen you fight men grown without a hint of fear. This is the same."

"No...it's..."

"Enough. You are to go to your room immediately, where you will bathe and dress in time for us to both welcome Lord Renly. I will not ask again." Lord Selwyn had resumed his harsh expression, staring coldly down at his daughter, and only heir.

Brienne trudged back to the castle fearfully, clenching her fists and holding back tears. She lumbered up the endless flights of stairs to her bedroom, frostily greeting the poor handmaiden whose job it was to make her beautiful.

 _It would take a miracle to make me beautiful._

Brienne begrudgingly removed her tattered boots and breeches, and settled into the warm bath. She scrubbed herself clean, and the handmaiden did her best to comb her hair. _I'm going to chop it all off one day_ , Brienne thought. _Far too much hassle – always gets in the way_.

Brienne tried to focus on the mind-numbing task of cleaning and dressing, but all she could think about was the coming feast. Lord Renly Baratheon had come of age, and was touring the storm lands to charm the local lords, and prove that a boy of 16 was up to the task.

 _Perhaps if I hide when she next turns away, no one will look for me, and I won't have to go to the feast..._

"Time to get dressed m'lady!", the handmaiden faked a smile.

A cold shiver rocked through Brienne as she stood up from the warm bath. She grabbed a towel as quickly as possible to cover herself, although the handmaiden had respectfully looked away, on the pretence of laying out Brienne's clothes.

The handmaiden did her best. It was never easy to fit Brienne into a dress – she was large in all of the wrong places. The dressmakers tried hard to sew dresses that simultaneously fit and gave her a womanly figure, but they inevitably failed. She was too thick of shoulder and waist, and had no breasts to speak of, even though she was a woman flowered.

 _Ser Ronnet was probably right to give me only a rose – I am hardly marriage material._

She had been betrothed to Ser Ronnet, only months before. She was the same height as him, though he was a man grown, and she only just flowered. The bright red peach fuzz on his chin was all she could see when he approached with the rose. She'd practiced her courteous words, but they would not come out. Ser Ronnet had stood looking at her with curiosity as she quickly fell into a panic, before handing the rose. _"This is all you will have of me..._ my lady _."_

Her father was extremely disappointed, and Brienne just felt ashamed. Not only was she ugly, but she was stupid too.

All she was good at was fighting. Swords weren't scary, nor were the men who wielded them. In her wildest dreams, Brienne never saw herself marrying some rich lord and bearing his children...she saw herself as a knight – the bravest, most fearsome knight of the land, serving her King and protecting the realm.

 _A foolish dream if there ever was one_. No King would want her protecting him. Men were too easily wounded by such things.

"There you go! You look beautiful – your father will be very pleased." The dress fell awkwardly as always, and the handmaiden faked another smile.

 _Perhaps if I jump out of my window, everyone will forget about me, and I won't have to go to the feast._


	2. Falling

Lord Selwyn and his daughter stood side by side at the dock, waiting to greet Lord Renly. A ship was coming into dock, and Brienne could see Renly Baratheon's bannermen on deck. Most had probably heard tales of Lord Selwyn's freakish daughter, and she could already see men staring down at her.

 _When they approach, they'll laugh. They always do_.

The ship was docked, and Lord Renly's host of knights and bannermen began to disembark. Each one stopped in front of Lord Selwyn to exchange pleasantries, only to turn and look at Brienne with a mix of shock, repulsion, and amusement. Finally, when all but the servants had come down, Renly Baratheon appeared on deck, beaming at the beautiful outlook.

It seemed like someone had combed his hair with the upmost care, but the windy deck was making it messy again. The dark hair fell into his bright blue eyes, which seemed to have a fleck of green in them, brought out by his green silk clothes. He kept pushing his hair back out of his eyes as he approached with a bold grin.

"My lord", Lord Selwyn bent the knee solemnly, as did Brienne, and the other lesser lords.

"Come now Lord Selwyn, there is no need for that!", Renly Baratheon sang out as his bannermen rose. "And this is your delightful daughter I presume?" Renly looked straight into Brienne's eyes without a hint of disgust. In fact, he was smiling as much as he had been.

"I uh..." Brienne stuttered, staring bewildered into Renly's eyes.

Lord Selwyn lay his hand on Brienne's shoulder and gave her a little pinch. She quickly tried remembering the courteous words she knew. "...yes Lord Renly. I am Brienne. It's a...a pleasure to meet you..."

"And a pleasure to meet you too my lady", Renly took her hand into his and kissed it lightly, all the while wearing a charismatic smile.

Brienne's heart was pounding in her chest, and her hand tingled even when he dropped it.

"My lord, shall we begin the feast?" Lord Selwyn said, with a hint of a smile.

"Of course. May I escort your charming daughter into the hall?". Renly spoke without a hint of sarcasm, as Brienne stood gawking at him.

Lord Selwyn nodded once, and waved them off as Renly took Brienne's arm in his own. The two walked together the whole way to the hall. Renly seemed genuinely interested in what Brienne said, and smiled at everything she said.

 _It must be a trick. No man is ever this nice…unless there's some joke I've missed._

Renly and Brienne walked up to the dais, and Renly pulled out her chair for her, allowing her to sit to the left of her father, before taking his own place at Lord Selwyn's right.

The lords and ladies entered the great hall with elegance and grace, each taking seats above or below the dais as was befit of their station. Brienne sat awkwardly next to her father, glancing over at Lord Renly whenever she could, trying to work out why he was so…nice.

Brienne could see Lord Selwyn's latest mistress begrudgingly taking a seat at the back of the hall with the more common folk – non-landed knights and the like. She was not pleased to be there.

 _She's lucky my father allows her in here at all_.

Brienne tugged at her dress in an attempt to breathe properly, but it was no use. The dress tried very hard to sit right, but failed. It was still blaringly obvious that Brienne did not have a womanly figure.

 _So why is Lord Renly being…kind?_ '

Renly was talking endlessly with Lord Selwyn about every possible topic. They'd been sat there for a quarter of an hour, and they'd already discussed the state of the kingdom, local rumours, Lord Renly's promising squire, new-made knights dominating the tourneys, and Lord Selwyn's mistress, who was still glaring up at the dais.

Renly's fine words echoed through Brienne's ears, though she barely listened to what he said. Brienne always found such feasts unbearable, but this time she was…not enjoying herself…but relatively at ease.

The food was served and cleared, and all the while, Lord Renly talked. Soon, music was playing, and Lord Selwyn announced that the dancing would begin. The lords began to rise, and giggles swept across the hall as the lords asked their ladies to dance.

Brienne let out a sigh, watching the couples. The dancing ladies appeared elegant and graceful, the lords and knights strong and chivalrous. She had only ever been asked to dance by young squires competing for Lord Selwyn's approval, or drunks dancing with her purely out of mockery.

A shadow fell over her as she sipped at some watered-down wine.

"My lady?", Lord Renly smiled down at her with his hand extended. "Will you take this dance with me?"

For some reason, Brienne's heart started pounding, and she felt as if she had something lodged in her throat. She managed to squeak out a "yes".

 _But…why…what is he doing?_

Brienne heard a few sniggers as she descended the dias with Renly. She seized up, walking stiffly.

"Relax", he whispered in her ear as they walked. "Their laughs can only hurt you if you let them."

Brienne tried to control her breathing, but she was already starting to feel the wave of anxiety upon her. She was feeling light headed and nauseous, but Renly grabbed her and began to dance.

Renly's eyes were level with her own, and Brienne stared into them as they danced around the floor. The sniggers had stopped, and everyone stared wide-eyed at Lady Brienne dancing with Lord Renly. He held her in his arms – not with much strength, but enough to show he was trying. They floated around the dance floor, and Brienne felt…normal. For a few moments, she wasn't the freakish, ungainly daughter of Lord Selwyn, but a young girl, dancing with a handsome young man.

She wasn't very good at dancing, but Renly lightly guided her. His touch sent tingles up her spine, and she couldn't stop staring into her eyes.

"See. No one is laughing now. Show them you can act just like them or better, and they'll accept you."

"But…I…what would you know about acceptance?"

Renly blushed a little, and missed a step in the dance. He quickly picked it up again, passing it off as too much wine. He looked earnestly into her eyes, as if dying to speak of something he could not.

"We all have to pretend."

Brienne didn't understand what he meant, but it didn't matter.

 _I can't just pretend to be beautiful – it would hardly make a difference_.

The dance ended, and Lord Renly resumed his charming smile, bowing slightly at Brienne, who curtseyed awkwardly.

Lord Renly asked another girl to dance, and Brienne turned to head back to the dias…but she felt a light tap on the shoulder. A boy, no more than eleven stood before her. His long brown hair was shaggy and unkempt, and fell over his golden eyes.

"May I have this dance my lady? Lord Renly told me you'd like to dance."

Brienne turned to her father, who sternly nodded. She reluctantly took the boy's hand and they danced awkwardly. The boy was far too small to dance with her properly – he was small for 11, and she tall for 13. The boy gave the dance his best, but seemed glad when the song ended.

After the boy, the propositions to dance came continuously. She danced with tall knights, squires and lesser lords. Never had she danced so much, and although she still felt nervous with every new partner, she began to feel happy. Even though everyone still looked at her with a thinly veiled disgust, they were a hundred times friendlier than usual.

 _This is Lord Renly's doing. It was his example…they all want to be as gallant and chivalrous as he is. Though they can't match him._

Finally, Lord Renly came back to dance the last dance with her. The other maidens looked on with a spiteful resentment, but Renly ignored them, sweeping Brienne across the floor with a sparkle in his eyes. Brienne felt giddy, a mixture of wine, music, and Renly, who was the sole gem in a room of shallow, conceited lords.

The dance ended, and Brienne felt the corners of her mouth turning up as Renly beamed at her, leading her back up to the dias. Brienne sat down heavily, overwhelmed. Lord Selwyn looked sternly down at her with nothing more than a blank expression and a nod.

Lord Renly excused himself, calling up his squire, the young boy who danced with her, and retired to his rooms.

Brienne excused herself too and made her way back up to her room. She couldn't stop smiling as she walked up the stairs. She knew it was stupid, but she felt changed somehow. She thought about Renly – the way he held her in his arms, making her feel graceful and alive.

 _Is this…is this how it feels to be…normal?_

She opened her door and carefully removed her dress, then slipped into her most comfortable shirt and breeches.

 _When I dance with Renly, I feel as if I'm beautiful. It's as if the ugliness has melted away, and I'm somehow more whole than I was before._

She lay awake for hours, watching the moon disappear and the sun rise up out of the water. As the hours ticked by, Brienne's smile faded. She realised – he would leave, and never come back. She would no doubt be married off to some ignoble lord, and he would find some beautiful young maiden to bear his beautiful children.

Brienne could never be that beautiful maiden. But even if she could be…would she want to? And did it even matter?

 _It's not like he could ever love me. I'm ugly, and stupid. He is beautiful, kind, and perfect. He could never want me. Not if I was the last woman on earth._

She wiped away the tears trickling from her eyes. Maybe she didn't want his love anyway. Maybe she just wanted to serve him…protect him even.

She could love him from afar.

When she finally dozed off, she dreamt of Renly, lord in a castle, and she was beside him. She stood in full armour, she knew somehow she was his lady, but she stood guarding him, as he smiled down at her, speaking courteous words.


End file.
